Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. — Marie Curie

My list of what to read next just keeps growing. One book that has recently settled onto my pile is White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, by Robin DiAngelo. The review of this book by Katy Waldman in The New Yorker (July 23, 2018, www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/a-sociologistexamines-the-white-fragility-that-prevents-white-americans-from-confronting-racism) has me intrigued. Waldman describes DiAngelo as presenting a “methodical, irrefutable exposure of racism.” I need to read this book to get a fuller understanding of her thesis. I hope that I do not misrepresent it.

Some topics are the third rail of civil conversation; for many white Americans racism is highly electric. It is interesting to contemplate why this continues to be so at this point in our history. DiAngelo coined the term “white fragility” in 2011 to describe the extreme, hair-trigger defensiveness displayed by many white people when discussing racism. Waldron notes that DiAngelo, a race and social justice educator, sees behavior at her workshops that is so extreme that it is “as if the mention of racism were more offensive than the fact or practice of it.” Two factors are seen as major contributors—the ease with which white people can be insulated from racial discomfort in this still significantly segregated society and a lack of “racial stamina” when white people do seek to engage in difficult conversations. Their protests of colorblindness, of good intentions, of reverse racism, and more, then act as “weaponized denial” and keep white people in a position of aggrieved dominance. Operating in a binary good/bad system, white people avoid confronting things that might engender feelings of overwhelming guilt, so benefit from a racist system is denied. Loudly.

As I was thinking about this topic, I came across an essay by comedian W. Kamau Bell in which he states that white people need to “get comfortable being uncomfortable having conversations about race and racism.” It is important to remember, he says, that “change doesn’t happen all at once—it’s often glacial.”

Overcoming the ingrained and invisible culture of racial preference is a lifelong process. DiAngelo observes that white liberals can cause great harm if they fail to acknowledge that their personal and societal work is not finished just because they have an attitude of good will. Structural racism is still endemic.

It is not easy to unlearn what you didn’t realize you were learning; don’t be too harsh on yourself, but also don’t make yourself the victim in conversations about racism. We need a more nuanced and generous understanding of personal responsibility to allow us all to grow in a healthy way. Difficult conversations need more humility and open-minded listening and less anger and fear.

At DiAngelo’s website (robindiangelo.com) she offers some resources to help us all discuss race in America and racism without losing face and while working from a stance of curiosity and humility, such as her “Silence Breakers.” Then we can all “get comfortable being uncomfortable” and look at race in America with clearer eyes. Learning to combat both internal and structural racism is important work for a lifetime.